


You Were the Cause (Show Me Love)

by Mastia



Series: You Were the Cause (Show Me Love) [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fae & Fairies, I'm saying this now, Incubus! AU, Lots of character development, M/M, Magic, NOT JUST SMUT, Succubi & Incubi, Warlocks, different types of demons, not explicit, other supernatural things, slight mention of rape/abuse and such, there is a LOT of plot in this story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 18:05:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1827370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mastia/pseuds/Mastia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi finally found a place where he can escape from his everyday problems and the people that cause them; the only issue is the gold eyed teen that never fails to find him there. Little does he know that same 'brat" is the one responsible for his peace. Incubus! Eren Riren/Ereri (Rated M for later)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome To Mystery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yaoisempai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaoisempai/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song: Welcome to Mystery by Plain White Ts
> 
> [LISTEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKknmnPyXt8)

Levi closed his eyes against the brightness of the sun, basking in its warmth and light. He quite liked the wood, sitting under one of the many trees for shade. The smells of various flowers mixed with the scent of an upcoming rainstorm, and the sound of churning water could be heard from the nearby creek. Despite the heat, it wasn’t humid, and the wind rustling his hair and clothes and the leaves overhead created a nice breeze. A sudden gust had dandelion spurs blowing around him, and feeling at peace for the first time since God knows when, he hummed softly to himself.

Levi had been confused at first, but he found it hard to not feel at ease, especially after hours of nothing eventful happening and no sign of danger. It was a place that reminded him of his childhood: somewhere his mother had always taken him on the rare days she had time off of work. That clearing was their sanctuary, their little secret, and he’d be lying through his teeth if he said he hadn’t missed it. The last time he’d gone, he’d left part of himself, and it was a blessing to feel at least a little bit whole again, even if only for a little while.

The last thing he remembered before he was suddenly lying on the grass was drinking at a local bar with his colleagues, and as strange as it was, he couldn’t find himself caring how he had gotten to be where he was. For the first time in months, his skin didn’t burn from the harsh winter winds, and he was actually _warm_. Not too hot, not too cold: just warm.

 ~

He was alone, and the raven haired male was perfectly happy that way. Levi didn’t want anyone to ruin the moment for him, whether it was his imagination or a reality. So when he saw a figure move out of the corner of his eye, he couldn’t help the frown that found itself on his face. A boy, maybe around seventeen or eighteen, was walking slowly towards him. In the time he’d spent there, the place had become _his_ ; he could escape from his problems and the people who caused them. Levi wondered if he could actually call himself content. And he didn’t appreciate the intrusion.

The teen’s lips were turned up in a small smile that widened as he got closer to the older male, and his chestnut hair fell messily around his face and down the nape of his neck. He was wearing a green shirt, almost tunic-like in design, dark jeans and tennis shoes. The only things out of place were the small wings protruding from his back and the colour of his eyes. His pupils were gold, cat-like and predatory. The way they glowed unsettled Levi, even more so than the wings had. He wanted nothing more than to get away from the gaze that had settled upon him.

Much to Levi’s concern, he did nothing to stop the boy. It was like he was in a trance. As the boy he drew closer, Levi found his eyelids starting to droop, and no matter how hard he tried to focus, his senses started to blur and warp around him. The black of unconsciousness was pulling him down, and he swallowed thickly. He could no longer open his eyes, he was so tired, and he shivered as he felt soft fingertips brush over his lips. His mind barely registered the fact that the strange boy had gotten so close. Levi could have sworn that, through the haze of his mind, he heard the boy whisper something into his ear before sleep finally overtook him.

_“Sweet Dreams.”_


	2. Waiting For the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaper Song: Waiting For the End by Linkin Park
> 
> [LISTEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwpldZa38ug)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! God, it's been a long time OTL...I'm uploading this now, but chapter three will also probably be done tonight too. c: I'm finally out of school for a little while so I should be updating my fics regularly (on Mondays), which makes me reaaaally happy, and I'm going to be hosting chats about the fics after uploading them. I know I've been a pretty bad author as of late ^^; I'm also looking for betas (because I know I need all the hell I can get and a kick in the butt when I'm lazy), so if you're interested, just contact me. You can do it here or on tumblr. (Once again I'm Mastia there too...) I was going to mention it, but for those of you who regularly check up on my stories, you can either subscribe to me (as an author) or the specific stories so it'll notify you when I update.
> 
>  
> 
> Link: [GO TO CHATROOM](http://tinychat.com/mastia)

Sweet Dreams.

Levi woke up to those words. His wrist ached from falling on it when he’d rolled out of bed, and he could tell from the sharp pain that shot through his arm when he brought his fingers to his neck that he had probably sprained it. He could still feel the lingering itch of breath on his skin; goose bumps were already forming from the vividness of his dream.

He looked around, glad that he was in his own bedroom and not somewhere unclean. It quickly faded however, when he noticed the state he was in. He was completely naked, limbs and torso tangled in bedding, and he grimaced at the feeling of dried sweat on his skin. The bitter taste of alcohol lingered in his mouth, enough that he gagged. Much to his surprise, he didn’t have the headache that usually came the morning after getting so drunk he blacked out.

After unraveling himself from his sheets, Levi made his way to the bathroom, grabbing a clean pair of clothes and a towel on his way. He took his time in the shower, scrubbing every inch of his skin raw, long after the hot water had run cold, and then spent almost twice as long cleaning his teeth. The smell of breakfast, brewing coffee in particular, was what finally forced him downstairs. He was met with a strange look from his roommate, Erwin, as he padded into the kitchen to make himself a plate. One eyebrow cocked, Erwin wasted no time.

“You okay? I’ve never _not_ seen you dying the morning after. You don’t seem hung over at all. Did Hanji finally invent a cure?” When he didn’t get a response from the shorter man- not that he was honestly expecting one- Erwin sighed and set his now empty cup down. “I was going to wait until your hangover was gone, but you seem to not have one, so… I’ll go ahead and say it: as your friend, I’m happy that you finally let loose, but as your supervisor….Well, you need to watch it, Levi. You probably don’t even remember, but I am 99% sure that you broke multiple company policies last night.”

Levi snorted in response; Erwin was completely right- he had no recollection of the previous night. Just his dream and the brat with the gold eyes. As much as the teen had unnerved him, now that he was awake, he wished he hadn’t woken up quite yet. He wondered what would have happened if he’d gotten a chance to talk to the kid. Erwin didn’t need to know any of this, so he just rolled his eyes and sat across his friend.

“Oh, really? It couldn’t have been _that_ bad, Eyebrows. I feel absolutely fine so I couldn’t have done drugs. Actually you know what, I actually feel great. Better than I have in years. Abso-fucking-lutely perfect. Maybe glasses did invent a miracle drug.”

Erwin stood up to get more coffee after a moment of silence, and did his best to hide his face from Levi. It didn’t help; the raven haired male saw the seriousness in his eyes. “I woke up to Petra leaving your room this morning.”

Levi’s eyes widened. He was expecting something bad, but that. That hit him in the face like a ton of bricks. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not and you know it.” Erwin sighed and walked past his friend, patting him on the back cautiously as we went by. “It’s only Saturday. You have a couple days to figure it out.”

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also wanted to tell you guys that each chapter is heavily influenced by certain songs. I'll be putting up a song list on chapter three.


	3. My Sundown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song: My Sundown by Jimmy Eat World  
> [LISTEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHQxtECTDFs)

Eren sighed when Levi woke up, the last remnants of the older man’s dream distorting around the brunet until nothing remained but the blackness of his own mind. The incubus licked his lips before opening his eyes, savoring the taste. Its bittersweet flavor wasn’t unpleasant, and it reminded him of when Armin’s grandfather would make him spiced hot chocolate after he would wake up from someone else’s nightmare. Before he had learned to manipulate the other persons psyche, or, like he had with Levi, mimic their memories, it had been a regular occurrence.

After finally opening his eyes, it took a moment to readjust to the dark. Like most of his kind, the teen had been made to live in the Catacombs when he’d reached maturity, and he was only allowed above ground when he was with a client. Unfortunately for Eren, that only happened when Armin or Mikasa had scraped up enough to buy his services for an hour. His regulars liked being rough, and more than anything they were unkind. He wanted to leave, so they made him stay. It was unfair, but years of the same routine had left him numb to it. At least that was what he told himself before crying himself into another nightmare.

~

When Eren realized it was his day off, he groaned and snuggled deeper into his blankets. For the first time since his birthday, he had woken up rested. Incubi were required to have familiars, humans that they fed off of regularly, by their twenty first birthday, and he’d found no one even close to compatible in the weeks he’d been looking. The searching left him chronically drained and even more temperamental than usual, and it had been affecting his work. Levi had been the first that hadn’t had him waking up feeling like he hadn’t slept in years or been trampled, and he was exceptionally grateful for the change. It almost startled him how _whole_ he felt with the other man.

Still, as he started to force himself out of bed, he recalled the taste. Humans and demons were more alike than they’d like to admit. Both could lie about their feelings, but neither could fake the taste. No one could hide their true selves when they were asleep. Their desires, their fears, their feelings were bared for everyone to see. It was the reason his kind were kept alone.

Levi’s dream had been sweet in the beginning. It was fresh and sugary like the red fruit Armin sometimes brought him from the human world. Strawberries, if he remembered the name correctly. Armin always managed to give him little gifts during their time together. Mikasa too, for that matter, though hers were from the various places she traveled through in the Districts.

Eren had figured the man’s dream to be memory almost immediately, but had still marveled at the detail. Dreams were known for being anything but clear, especially humans’. The sounds, the colours, everything: the brunet had taken it all in.  It was like being awake for the first time. Levi’s emotions had flooded into the younger male in waves, and for the most part, it was nice. The brunet shivered when he recalled the moment when the tranquility had taken a turn for the worst. It had taken hours, but the peace eventually faded.  

~

_Levi frowned._

_It was only for a moment, but the damage had been dealt. Something had triggered it, and Eren could have bet that the memory wasn’t the best. Something weighed heavily at the older male’s heart, and underneath the calm, Eren felt a storm brewing. Levi’s pain made Eren grimace._

_Still, the incubus wasn’t forced from the dream. Eren watched as Levi settled back into one of the trees, his eyes becoming more distant as the time passed. The silence would have normally bothered Eren, but for some reason, it didn’t this time. He remained in the shadows._

_Levi spotted Eren not long after that; his mind panicked, sensing the intruder. The brunet had let his guard down for only a moment to shift into a more comfortable position, and he regretted it immediately. The dream was on the verge of becoming a nightmare, and Eren could tell that the man needed the rest as much as he did. The brunet bit his lip, angry at himself for ruining the moment._

_Reluctantly, the incubus walked toward Levi, willing him to wake up. It hurt for only a moment, being ripped away from the human, but more than anything, he didn’t want the other to suffer. He could, and did, deal with pain on a regular basis, and nightmares weren’t something to wish upon anyone, even enemies. Especially, the man who had made him feel a little less wrong._

_When Levi started slipping away, the brunet couldn’t help himself. He had forced down the need to touch the man since the beginning, but found himself doing just that. Eren’s guilt vanished when his fingers brushed through the softness of the man’s hair and reached out to cup his cheek. He leaned forward to whisper in the man’s ear, a not so small part of him hoping with all his heart that the man would remember him. He doubted it; they rarely did._

_His voice was soft, like his mother’s. “Sweet Dreams, Levi. Let’s meet again sometime.” Please._

~ 

There was a knock on the door, and Eren jumped, being pulled from his thoughts. Another incubus, he had never bothered to learn his name, walked in a second after. He reminded the brunet of a horse, and Eren rolled his eyes at the thought.

“You have a client.”

Eren shook his head slowly, sitting up and stretching, “No…today is my day off.”

The other male rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth. “They specifically asked for you. Said their name’s Armin. I can tell them you aren’t working if you want though, take them off your hands. I don’t really care.”

Eren’s eyes widened, then the other’s words hit him, and he glared at the man as he spoke. “No no, I’ll be there in a moment.” _And don’t even think about touching Armin, damn Horseface._

“Whatever.” The male closed his door, and Eren could hear the footsteps fade away as he left. Eren closed his eyes and rolled off of his bed, rummaging around for an ‘acceptable’ outfit. While both of the males felt more comfortable in casual clothing, he’d been yelled at for dressing that way around the customers. So, he and Armin had agreed that they could handle just a tad bit more revealing shirts and pants. If it meant being able to see each other.

When he finally found something he deemed okay, he dressed quickly, and made his way upstairs to greet his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! C: Soooo I was going to have a longer chapter and more updates, but I’ve been sick and then there were some things I couldn’t wiggle my way out of (don’t ask lol)… Anyways, I split this chapter in two, and hopefully since I started Chapter 4 already, I’ll be able to update both 4 and 5 next week. I have work tonight so there won’t be a chat up :> I hope people can make time for next Monday though ^^ I’m awkward as hell, but feedback really helps with writing and I’m curious as to where you guys think this is going haha. Last chapter I also mentioned that this fic in particular is REALLLLLY influenced by certain songs and that I’d make a song list. Here ya go:
> 
> Song List-
> 
> 1\. Welcome to Mystery- Plain White Ts  
> 2\. Pompeii- Bastille  
> 3\. Topsy Turvy- Family Force 5  
> 4\. River Flows in You (ft. Debbi Johanson)- Lindsey Stirling  
> 5\. Sleepsong- Secret Garden  
> 6\. Demons- Imagine Dragons  
> 7\. Counting Stars- One Republic  
> 8\. Show Me Love- t.a.T.u  
> 9\. Fireflies- Owl City  
> 10\. robots inc.- MONKEY MAJIK  
> 11\. I Don’t Mind- Imagine Dragons  
> 12\. Nicotine- Panic! At the Disco  
> 13\. Staying Up- The Neighborhood  
> 14\. 9 Crimes- Damien Rice  
> 15\. Love Addict- Family Force 5  
> 16\. Dark Waltz- Hayley Westenra  
> 17\. Hear You Me- Jimmy Eat World  
> 18\. My Sundown- Jimmy Eat World  
> 19\. Waiting for the End- Linkin Park  
> 20\. Already Over- Red  
> 21\. Death of Me- Red  
> 22\. Her Name is Alice- Shinedown  
> 23\. Just One Day- BTS  
> 24\. Wave- Shoose (original: lily)  
> 25\. Order Made- Radwimps  
> 26\. Girls Chase Boys- Ingrid Michaelson  
> 27\. Mad World- Adam Lambert’s ver.  
> 28\. Painting Flowers- All Time Low  
> 29\. The Lightning Strike: What If This Storm Ends?-Snow Patrol  
> 30\. Give Love- AKMU  
> 31\. Melted- AKMU  
> 32\. Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri  
> 33\. Taikatalvi- Nightwish
> 
> I’m gonna make a playlist so you can listen while you read, but I don’t have the time today. Oh, and for those of you who aren’t ‘new’ readers, I’m changing the chapter names. Each of them are specific songs, that I think reflect the moods of the characters and the chapter, so you might want to read them with those songs in mind ^^ 
> 
> Anyways, please review/comment! It means a lot to me hahaha (I’m serious about that ovo) I’ve actually grown reallllly attached to this plotline hahaha –killed by readers of my other fics- 
> 
> P.S. A question for you guys who like the story: how do you think it’s coming along? I wanted an incubus Ereri story that was more than pure smut lol…Did I make the right choice haha ^^; Oh, and I’m also curious what song you imagined Levi humming in chapter one- if any at all. I’ll just say that that is a little bit important to my plot line. XD Like oh-my-god-wow-did-not-see-that-coming-plot-twist important…


	4. Counting Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING (vague mention/insinuation of rape and /or abuse)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song: Counting Stars by One Republic
> 
> [ _**LISTEN** _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTusGhSSzg4&src_vid=9BMnXXrvcyA&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_3364250675)

Armin was shuffling his feet uncomfortably when Eren found him. He was holding a small package in his hands, clutching it tightly to his chest. Its paper was bright blue with variations of ‘Happy Birthday’ written all over, and numerous bows and ribbons were placed on one side.

The incubus almost laughed; no matter how many times he visited, his friend never got used to the Catacombs. When the blond noticed his friend walking towards him, he smiled, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light. He sighed after looking at Eren for a moment, relieved that he wasn’t dressed too extravagantly. It would be a hassle to try and explain his attire where they were going if it had been anything more revealing. The brunet wore a dark gray sweater and black shorts, the only sign of his profession being how low the denim rode on his hips and the fishnet stockings on his legs. Eren had his hair down, the brown locks curling slightly at the nape of his neck, covering the small tattoo on his neck. The brand that kept him Underground.

That was good. No one would notice unless they were looking for the mark specifically.

“Armin! How’ve you been? It’s been so long.” Eren hugged Armin closely.

“It has,” the boy chuckled, “Let’s talk over dinner. I wanted to give you your present! And we only have a few hours…” They both grew quiet for a moment until the brunet started to drag his friend towards the doors. The guard on duty gave him a small wink, mouthing ‘have fun’ as the incubus dragged the other through. Eren laughed and nodded, making a mental note to thank Reiner later for not wasting their time with formalities. They had so little time as it was; it made him a bit sad.

When they were out of earshot of the building, Eren’s grip on Armin’s wrist loosened, his eyes knitting together. He bit down on his lip and turned to face his friend. “A few hours? I thought I told you one was enough. More than enough even. Armin, that’s a lot of money. You can’t- I can’t let you spend that on me.”

The blonde’s voice was steady, almost like explaining something simple to a small child, as he spoke. “Eren. Are you not happy to get out?”

“No, no. It’s perfect…But-.”

“I’m happy to do this. It’s my money; let me treat you.” Armin’s eyes darkened, “I know how much you hate that place. At least let me help when I can.”

Eren breathed in deep, then let out a shaky breath and squeezed his friend’s hand, “Thanks, Armin. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They started walking again, and Eren opened his mouth to ask why, when they walked past their normal hang out spot. Armin, already anticipating his questions just shook his head and pulled the other farther away from his prison.

~ 

They ended up in a small clearing, and Eren couldn’t help that his thoughts flashed back to Levi. It wasn’t nearly on the scale of the human’s memory, but it still made him grin. Armin noticed almost immediately; his friend rarely smiled, and his heart clenched at the sight. He was glad he could do this for Eren, even though it wasn’t nearly enough. Still, he said nothing.

The warlock had set up a small picnic in the park, and the sound of shattering glass rang in Eren’s ears as the two walked through his barrier. A blanket was set up with pillows and plates and bowls of food; food Eren had only seen in books. His mouth watered; sandwiches of all kinds, too many fruits to count, everything he could imagine was laid out before him. Eren held back the tears when he picked up something called Mt. Dew and looked at his friend.

“Eat up. This is a special occasion after all.” Armin chuckled at the shock on Eren’s face. When the other boy took a sip of the soda, he shook his head and sat down. The bubbly drink burned Eren’s throat as he drank, but he decided he liked its sweetness anyways and kept drinking.

Armin pushed a small bundle towards the incubus, “This is from Mikasa. She’s sorry she couldn’t make it. Happy Late Birthday, Eren.”

The brunet choked and coughed as he accepted the gift-the green liquid had been too much for him. “I’ll have to send her a thank note. Where is she, anyways?” Eren dug into the package, ripping at the paper. He looked at his friend, confused, at what was inside.

“Clothes?” The green hoodie was soft in his hands, and a pair of dark washed jeans rested on his lap. He picked up the card that was with the gifts and set down his new hoodie. Smiling, he read. The writing was a little less neat than his adoptive sister’s, but undoubtedly hers. She must’ve been in a hurry.

_Dear Eren,_

_I’m really sorry that I couldn’t make it this year. I hope my gift makes up for it. Before you get that dumb look on your face, the clothes go with Armin’s gift. And you can never have too many clothes down there. It’s always so cold- you’ll get sick if you don’t watch it. They don’t let you cover up enough. I swear I’ll come and kick your ass if you get a cold._

_Twenty years old.  Armin tells me you’ve been having trouble with finding your first familiar. You must be really tired, huh? Make sure you aren’t overdoing it, okay? Gotta promise me. Oh, and we’ll see each other sooner than you think. I got permission to take a little break. They’re making me work extra hard before then, but it’s definitely worth it. And I have something else I want to give you. Until then, I guess…_

_Love ya and see you soon,_

_Mikasa_

Eren couldn’t stop the grin that had plastered itself on his face. Mikasa was going to be visiting! It was strange that the troupe was letting her off but he couldn't have cared less at that moment. And the clothes. It was so like her to be worrying over his health. His interest was piqued though. She said it went with Armin’s gift. It wasn't unlike them to do compatible things, but seriously? What went with a hoodie and some jeans?

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he felt Armin push the other gift at him. He unwrapped it quite a bit slower than the first; the excitement of receiving gifts wavering after looking at the seriousness on his friend’s face. The blue eyed boy had been acting strangely, now that he thought back. He’d been a lot less open than usual, and it had dread knotting in the brunet’s stomach. Something was up.

~

Armin looked at Eren with a sense of emergency, knowing full well he made the other boy anxious. He wasn’t trying to seem off; in fact, he was trying extremely hard to keep his usual calm. Mikasa and he had been planning this for a while now, after all. He’d thought through all of their obstacles: every possible outcome had been walked through in his head and had plans in case something went wrong.

Still, he couldn't stop himself for worrying. If they were caught before they finished- he didn't even want to think about the consequences. He’d probably be stripped of his magic, and while he knew how painful that would be, it didn't even compare to Eren’s punishment. They’d kill him, Armin was certain; it was what they did before that that left him in the dark, though he had an idea. Incubi were like cattle to other demons- they were used, without any rights of their own, until they outlived their usefulness. They would _use_ him before killing him. The thought made Armin sick.

His eyes snapped back to Eren as he opened the small box. The boy’s eyes were wide, almost comically so, and his breath had hitched. He stared down at the various documents. Armin could almost see his friend’s mind wrapping around the different possibilities. He looked at the blond, his voice cracking and low.

“Armin- what’s this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s an early chapter for you lovely readers yay! How many of you figured out where I’m going with this? XD-at least where next chapter is going? Anywho, I’m posting chapter five tomorrow night (on schedule), as well as a chapter of Infected and/or Unexpected Meeting(I hope) I might also be posting a new fic entirely, but that depends on some other things….Chapters six and seven are also coming along really quickly so those might be up early too c: This fic just seems to be taking up all of my time OTL I swear the readers of my main fics were probably ready to kill me a while ago, but I can’t help it. I’m not actually sure if people are actively reading this one, but I have a need that has to be filled ^^; God I hope I’m not just making this for my own amusement hahaha
> 
> *A little hint for chapter 5- the Chapter Song is Ghost River by Nightwish. If you look at the lyrics it might clue you in? Maybe. Idk…
> 
> Anyways, please comment/review! I really wanna know how I’m doing and how I can get better :> If you want to talk about the fic or anything else, you can PM me here or on tumblr. I’m Mastia. I’m also tracking the tags mastia and fic: you were the cause if you want me to see anything ^^ Tomorrow I’ll be hosting a chat after posting the fics, and I’d love to talk to you all if you can make it! It’ll include all of my fics, so if you’re reading those you can ask about them too…I might also have a few sneak peeks and extras for the different fics for those who show up :>


	5. Ghost River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song: Ghost River by Nightwish
> 
> [ _**LISTEN** _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6TgVsgTW7I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG sorry for the late update!!!! I couldn’t make it to a computer with internet access yesterday OTL I’ll be posting a notice after this chapter, and I’d appreciate it if you would read through it ovo
> 
> I will be hosting the chat tonight. You can find the link through my tumblr or just look up mastia on tinychat. I’d post a link here but sometimes it messes up the notes ^^; It'll be up until around 11pm Central time.
> 
> Anywho…For those of you who don’t really care about the songs and/or are too lazy to look them up, the lyrics that were especially important are the following (just keep it in mind; you should know what part of the chapter it’s referring to when you read):
> 
> Hey you, child of rape, the riverbed awaits  
> Snow white, pitch-black, your life such strife  
> Heavenward, deep down, I’ll show you such sights  
> Believe it, we live as we dream/scream
> 
> The other parts fit really well to Eren’s character development and past in the story, so if you can, it’d be good to actually listen to the full thing. Oh and I officially give up trying to make the characters in character *flips table* Not really, I try, I promise. It just doesn’t always work…

Mikasa’s gift was heavy in his lap as Eren’s finger’s gripped the cards and papers in his hand. A driver’s licenses, birth certificate, every document that would let him move through the human world without question was right there. It didn’t take him long to realize what was happening- why Armin had paid for more than one hour and had been so stiff, why Mikasa had bought him regular clothes. They were kidnapping him. They were breaking him out of his prison, giving him a chance at life.

Tears prickled at the back of Eren’s eyes. _Shit._ Oh, he wanted to cry, to wrap his arms around his best friend and sob his thanks a million time over.

Armin leaned over his friend, grabbing the hand that was left limp at his side. He slid the rest of his gift into the boy’s palm, and smiled widely, forgetting about anything and everything that wasn’t the look of pure unfiltered happiness that was on the brunet’s face. Hopefully, he’d be seeing a lot more of it in the future. Eren’s hand clasped around the cool metal, and he looked down at it in awe.

The blond smiled, his voice soft in the other’s ear. “It’s a key. To our new home.”

“Home?” Eren whispered back, afraid someone would hear. He knew that Armin probably made the area sound proof, but he wasn’t willing to risk it.“In the Human World?”

Armin nodded, pulling back and standing up.“In the Human World.”

~

The time span where they could sneak through the planes without alerting others was small. Eren sat back on the sidelines, eating some of the food Armin had bought, while his friend worked on the partially made portal. He had started it before picking up Eren, hiding it under the picnic blanket. Eren watched the other boy in awe; he’d seen him work when they were children, but never on that level or that fast. Armin was a blur of colour and sound as he checked over his work.

Eren could tell that he hadn’t been sleeping much now that he looked for signs. The other had dark circles under his eyes, and his muscles seemed tense; he made a note to help Armin when he could. The next time the other boy slept, Eren was going to be there to make sure he got the rest he deserved. 

He briefly wondered why the blond hadn’t used magic on himself, but then remembered one of the many lessons he’d sat in on with Armin’s grandfather. Using magic on one’s self was one of the greatest taboos for warlocks and witches- almost like his kind having children with their familiars. People didn’t do it, and the ones who did were shunned by the only ones who cared about them.

 “Done. Finally.” Armin’s voice snapped Eren out of his memories, though he was a little more bitter than before. Taboos were something that stirred memories of his mother. It reminded him that the world was cruel, that his very existence was considered a mistake by those around him.

He shook his head then stood up and walked over to where his friend was. He was careful to steer clear of the circle in between them; it was large with the most intricate designs he’d ever seen. The brunet was surprised how fast Armin had been considering its complexity, but knew that if anyone could do it, Armin could. Pride swelled in his chest when he looked at the blond, washing away the dark thoughts.

“We have a few minutes until I’m supposed to start the spell. When that happens, we need to get in the center of the circle. I’ll count down from five…When I say one, you need to hold your breath. You’re gonna wanna let it out, but fight it. It won’t be pretty if you breathe in anything while we’re going through the planes. Okay?”

Eren’s eyebrows knitted together, but he didn’t ask any questions. _So basically just hold your breath. Sounds easy enough._ “Yeah, got it.”

They waited a few moments until Armin led the other to their spot in the center. Armin mumbled something to himself, a light flashing in his eyes. Eren was silent, afraid that he would mess the other up. His breathing grew heavy when the rune lit up underneath them and the barrier solidified. The structure and the ground reflected off each other, all hues shining brightly. It was like they were in their own world of glass and crystal. Eren started to panic when the wall around them surged and stretched until it enveloped them completely; he felt trapped, even more than in the Catacombs.

He could barely hear Armin over his own heart beating.

When the blond yelled ‘two’ and pulled him into a tight hug, Eren sucked in air and closed his eyes. He immediately regretted it. The sound of glass shattering rang painfully high in his ears, and he felt like he was being pulled underwater. It was like the ground had opened and swallowed them both, waves crashing over them until they were fully submerged.

 He was falling deeper into nothingness, and the pressure on his chest had tears rolling down his face as he tried desperately to hold in his breath.  

When the ringing stopped, he was able to open his eyes, so he did. Another mistake. There was nothing around him, only darkness. Armin had disappeared, and he felt sick. He didn’t know what was up or down; he was just cold and alone. The only thing that kept him sane was the burning in his lungs, a constant reminder that yes, he was real, and yes, this was happening.

A new flood of panic hit him. Had he made the right choice? He’d been desperate to get away from the abuse, but was it really okay for him to want a better life- to live and not just be alive? Was the risk worth it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t hate me. Next chapter is Levi POV *breathes heavily* Um and something about the lyrics “dream/scream” It’s a duet, and if you listen to the song Anette (woman) sings “dream” and Marco (man) screams “scream”. It’s said at the same time. Yeah…. I can go on for hours about my symbolism and how the different song represent the chapters haha-Comments/Reviews are very welcome!


	6. Sleepsong (Pompeii)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit, shit shit; I didn’t want YWTC to be this dark guys! I’m so sorry oh my god. ;A; It’s kinda just writing itself that way OTL *sobs* No, Levi-my baby…nonono Don’t be sad! I knew it’d be dark but, this isn’t what I signed on for yoooo….
> 
> There are actually 3 chapter songs this time around; bare with me here:
> 
> Sleepsong by Bastille is the official Chapter Song, but Pompeii (also by Bastille) is its companion.   
> Kairos by The Eden Project is what he’s listening to during his little trip. 
> 
> As for what they mean in regards to the story- Sleepsong is what Levi thinks about his present life and Pompeii is about what he thinks about his little fling with Petra (and what that means for him). Kairos’s lyrics are minimal but also very important- all of the songs I mention are, really. I can’t stress that enough haha. I picked it because for me, the song is really inspirational, but at the same time it isn’t? It reminds me of Reluctant Heroes a lot in its feel. It makes me want to break down and give up, but build myself back up at the same time, and that’s how I imagine Levi feels during this. 
> 
> (A thank you to my lovely friend on tumblr, armin-instructed-me-to-so-i for introducing me to Kairos :>)
> 
> It’ll get better, lovelies; I promise. I’ll definitely need plenty of fluff to combat the angst party going on in all of my fics :’D Seriously. My heart won’t take much more.

Saturday went by in a blur.

After the news of what he’d done, Levi had shut himself up in his room the remainder of the day. Erwin hoped that the shorter man was thinking up a solution, but years of them being together had taught him otherwise. Levi had the uncanny ability to analyze and critique others’ mistakes- his own too, for that matter- but the intimacy of this particular ‘blunder’ was messing with the raven haired male more than he’d ever admit.  

Getting drunk and losing control was too much like his old self, and it scared him.

So, he spent his time curled up on his bed watching tv, guilt and self hatred gnawing at him the entire time. The simple fact that it involved Petra made everything so much worse. She was a friend, someone who’d been loyal and understanding since the day they’d met, and he’d _used_ her _._ It didn’t matter that she consented; Levi knew that he didn’t feel the same kind of love, and it wasn’t fair to her. Or Auruo for that matter. It was obvious the man was head over heels for her.

He’d changed his sheets, but the faint smell of perfume that lingered-he hadn’t noticed in his drowsiness that morning- made his stomach churn. He would have to face her Monday at work, and he was definitely not looking forward to it. He’d rather eat nails, actually.

When Erwin knocked on his door to tell him that dinner was ready, he stayed where he was on the bed. The man eventually left, telling Levi through his door that he’d put a plate in the fridge in case he got hungry and that he needed to eat or he’d get sick. Levi barely listened, choosing instead to wrap himself up in his sheets and try to sleep. He’d always had a hard time falling asleep, and it was no different this time around. He closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing, but it didn’t work. It never did.

Levi’s mind wandered to his dream from the night before and he frowned. On the occasion that he did end up asleep, he never dreamed. Ever. He didn’t understand why he would start now of all times. And what was with the brat? Was his subconscious trying to tell him something, making a person like that out of thin air?

_Whatever, it’s not like I can do anything about it._ He sighed and rolled onto his side, deciding that he was more comfortable like that. His scowl eventually faded as he finally fell asleep, and he didn’t dream that night. When he woke up the next morning, he didn’t know if he should be glad or disappointed that he hadn’t run into the gold eyed boy with wings.

~ 

Sunday went by almost exactly like Saturday, except Levi left his room to eat and go for his daily run through the park.

He was feeling slightly better- if better meant pushing his problems down as far as possible and attempting to ignore them- when he decided to leave the flat. The autumn air was just starting to get cold, so he slipped on a light jacket before opening the door and locking it behind him. He was wearing sweatpants and an oversized black t-shirt, and as he started running he was glad he’d grabbed the coat. Goosebumps rose on his exposed skin despite the heat he was feeling from his workout.

While he ran, he tried to let his mind go blank.

Running was his solution for almost everything, and he felt himself relax as he found his pace and his breath started evening out. He did his best to ignore every thought that nagged at the back of his head: Petra, the boy/lack thereof said boy from his dreams, and Erwin’s warnings about work just to name a few. He’d managed to put in his headphones before leaving, and was glad that he could drift through the music. The Eden Project’s _Kairos_ flowed through the foam buds, and he ran on beat, losing himself in its rhythm. He was soon sprinting, the bass drowning out the sound of his feet hitting the concrete.

It didn’t take long before his thoughts wandered back though.   

The lyrics hit way too close to home, but he found that comforting in a way-as strange as that was. Levi noticed that the music he leaned towards tended to leave a bitter taste at the back of his throat, and he was okay with that. Dredging up his mistakes and the feelings that went with them kept him grounded and less likely to relapse, but damn, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt sometimes.

Today was definitely one of those times; he felt raw and disgusted and unsure.

 Levi’s knuckles whitened into fists at his sides as he slowed down, his lungs screaming for oxygen. Nails lefts bloodied crescents in his palms. His vision darkened and he started to shake as the music faded out, his panting and the frantic beating of his pulse replacing it. How would he be able to ever trust himself again? How could he?

 How could _they_?

He hadn’t realized his knees had given out, only slightly registered the fact that he was on the ground. The path was cold underneath him, but not as cold as he felt inside, and he curled in on himself trying to feel warm again. Levi didn’t know how long he had been out there, but at some point he had become numb. Only his head hurt, but he didn’t care. _Monster._

He was a monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so many problems writing this-First of all, the chapter didn’t start out this dark, the rewrite was what did it. I might have gotten a little (maybe more than a little) drunk and thought it’d be a great idea to rewrite all of my progress…I could barely decode what I replaced the original with so I rushed trying to redo everything *cries* I also had to keep stopping cause the new version hits a little too close to my own life/thoughts and I was getting really emotional… Sorry if Levi’s really OOC :/
> 
> Besides that, I had something to clarify (don’t I always? Hahaha)-  
> Levi sees himself as a monster, and the people around him don’t, whereas Eren does NOT consider himself a monster and those around him do. Eren doesn’t think he is wrong the way he is- it’s the other demons that do. I know I made it pretty clear what Levi thinks, but I didn’t know if you picked that up about Eren.
> 
> For questions about the story, I’m making a different document altogether. I feel like the author notes are way too long as it is, and questions that are raised tend to be important ones. It’ll be attached to this one (this only applies to AO3 readers) through a series. Any questions you have will be noted there. Those of you who are reading this on Fanfiction will have to either follow the separate story or look it up through AO3/ the tumblr tags ^^ I’m sorry. There will also be little snippets that explain other aspects, because I am done ‘clarifying’ in notes…
> 
> The deadline for chapter 2’s questions will be the 27th. Questions can be anything regarding the fic, from any chapter and/or any confusion you have. I don’t bite c: You can read what I’ve answered so far here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1991466/chapters/4313721 
> 
> Next official chapter is happy (thank god). It’s Eren’s POV. 
> 
> Comments/Reviews are welcomed and prayed for! You can follow me on tumblr if you haven’t already at Mastia. Until next time :>


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